


only bought this dress (so you could take it off)

by bex_xo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cunnilingus, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), I don't know what even are tags sometimes, I listened to a TON of Taylor Swift writing this, I promise its just emotional and angsty, Living dangerously Unbeta'd, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Post-War, Pretty much everyone cries at some point, Redeemed Ben Solo, Smut, Some things happen because it's what I needed for logistics, just go with it!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 08:40:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13186443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bex_xo/pseuds/bex_xo
Summary: Light and Dark sharing the universe in harmony, bleeding into each other across the cosmos and in all living things in a way that creates a middle ground for every new Force user she stumbles upon during her treks across the star systems in pursuit of knowledge for this power that is apart of her.In the back of her mind, she feels a tug at the bond she still shares with a man who was once Kylo Ren, just a slight amount of pressure that reminds her he’s still there, wherever that is, still alive and very much a part of her. She doesn’t open herself to the pull, she hasn’t in months due to Ben’s wishes. Instead she just lets her conscience reach out briefly towards his, a soft caress across space and time to let him know she’s okay. That she misses him. That she’s ready whenever he is.





	only bought this dress (so you could take it off)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [junojelli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/junojelli/gifts).



> So I've mostly lurked in these parts the last two two years, but after TLJ I had to get this out of my system. 
> 
> Dedicated to my darling junojelli, who has mutually fan girled with me the past several days since seeing TLJ.
> 
> This fic was written listening exclusively to Taylor Swift's "1989" and "Reputation" albums. Specifically "All You Had To Do Was Stay", "How You Get The Girl" and "This Love" from 1989 and "Don't Blame Me", "Delicate", "So It Goes..." "Dress" and "Call It What You Want To" from Reputation.
> 
> Rey and Ben have alternating POVs. Rey's are present tense, Ben's are past tense up until his last POV, which moves to present time.

The Intergalactic Peace Accords are signed a few short weeks after the defeat of the First Order, something Rey knows will only be a fleeting solution to the troubles that plague the vast galaxy. The act itself brings a great amount of hope to those who have been downtrodden under oppressive regimes like the First Order or the Empire, and is considered a success by the fledgling Republic that’s being lead by Resistance officers and allies while they slowly and deliberately build a new Senate whose main purpose will be to fight for the continued peace across the galaxy.    
  
Rey swears she’ll be there for the Republic if they ever need use of her abilities, but is content with the knowledge that the Force has finally found the balance the ancient Jedi so desperately wanted.  

 

Light and Dark sharing the universe in harmony, bleeding into each other across the cosmos and in all living things in a way that creates a middle ground for every new Force user she stumbles upon during her treks across the star systems in pursuit of knowledge for this power that is apart of her.

 

Finn sends her the invitation for the Peace Accords Gala, an event being hosted on Naboo to celebrate the Resistance and the new Senate, and leaves a personal note at the bottom of the email she opened on her datapad that it’s a formal event and her various arm wraps and linen trousers are unacceptable. Below that is a list of various dress makers from different parts of the galaxy that would happily dress Rey of Jakku for such an event and Rey can’t help but to roll her eyes at her beloved friends antics.    
  
She reaches out to one of the designers closest to Naboo, a woman named Mira on the planet Erep, and schedules a meeting for two day cycles from now. The woman promises a dress worthy of a princess before the gala in a weeks time, and Rey’s excitement grows at the prospect of something other than her every day apparel.    
  
In the back of her mind, she feels a tug at the bond she still shares with a man who was once Kylo Ren, just a slight amount of pressure that reminds her he’s still there, wherever that is, still alive and very much a part of her. She doesn’t open herself to the pull, she hasn’t in months due to Ben’s wishes. Instead she just lets her conscience reach out briefly towards his, a soft caress across space and time to let him know she’s okay. That she misses him. That she’s ready whenever he is.    
  
“Ben. What will I do about you?” Rey sighs out loud to herself as she stuffs her datapad underneath her pillow in the cabin on the Falcon that has slowly started to feel like hers. 

 

She returns to the cockpit to tell Chewie about their new destination and the gala itself, and her companion is more than excited to get to see their friends again himself. He asks if he’s expected to dress up too, and she laughs so hard she has tears running down her face before she’s able to answer him.   
  
“I doubt it Chewie, but maybe we’ll find you a bow tie to wear?”    
  
And they continue to laugh as they thrust into hyperspace, Chewie asking if Rey has ever even worn a dress before and Rey wondering where she’s going to put her lightsaber among the yards of fabric she’s bound to end up in.

 

 

 

Their connection had been mostly closed since the battle of Crait, both of them working to keep the other out in the long months that stretched out before them, even when all he wanted to do was open his mind to her and let her see  _ everything _ . It was an unspoken agreement, while they took up their respective mantles in the First Order and the Resistance and worked through whatever it was they felt for one another, that they couldn’t allow one another access to their thoughts for the time being.    
  
It was agony.    
  
To finally find someone who made him feel complete, his missing half, the call to the Light he’d been fighting since his fall, and to have it ripped away as suddenly as it was given to him was more painful than any of the methods Snoke had used on him in the past.    
  
That was what started his disillusion with the path that he had taken and the purpose of the First Order.   
  


So in the end, Ben Solo saved himself. 

Finally free from the bonds of a master who only wished to enslave his mind and use his strength for their chosen purpose, he started to see things more clearly than he ever has, both the Light and the Dark and everything in between. 

He defected, stole away in the middle of night in his personal ship that Hux so cleverly placed a tracking system in and left the damned thing shattered on the floor of his private hanger.

He headed off towards the Outer Rim where he knew he’ll find his mother, the remaining rebels and Rey.    
  
She found him first.   
  
“Ben!” She yelled at him through their previously closed bond, as she pushed her way into his mind with more anger and hurt than he had ever seen in her. 

Anger and hurt that had undoubtedly been caused by him.   
  


“Rey.” Her name came out unbidden, a fragment of a whisper from a man so broken and so, so tired.   
  
He watched in awe as Rey’s expression changed from anger to sadness in one swift motion as she hurtled herself towards his arms. Her small frame collided with his with so much force it nearly knocked him backwards, but as he stumbled he somehow miraculously caught her and held on for dear life. 

“Ben.” She had sighed into his neck where she had buried her face.   
  
“I’m not going to join the Resistance. That path is lost to me, they would never accept me. I left the First Order, Hux can have it and burn it to the ground for all I care. I need you to be okay with that.” He whispered into her ear as he crushed her as close as he could through the bond. 

“It’s okay Ben. It’s okay.” She said with her her palms pressed on his cheeks, the ghost of her touch warm and real through their bond.    
  
“I needed to let you know Rey. I wanted to find you, to find my mother, to tell you what I was doing. I’m leaving all of this behind. The Light, The Dark, all of it. Kylo Ren is dead Rey, please make sure everyone knows that, tell them you killed me yourself if you have to, but I have no more fight left in me.” He mumbled against her temple as tears filled his eyes, Rey clung even closer to him in that moment, her own tears leaving his shirt wet. 

“Where are you going? What will you do? I know you’re somewhere in the Outer Rim, I felt you’re Force signature Ben, it’s stronger than it’s been in months to me.” Rey asked as she ran her hands in soothing circles across his shoulder blades. 

“I’m going away. I don’t know where and I don’t plan on telling you, so don’t try and find me, please Rey. Self exile, at least for now, at least until I know I can be Ben Solo again for good.”

“What about the bond?” Rey questioned as she pulled back just a little, just enough to gaze upon his face with her big brown eyes that were always so expressive.   
  
“The Force willed it Rey, it wants us together, it needs us to be the balance. Darkness rises and Light to meet it. It will always be here, we’ll always be connected. But you have a war to finish, and the machine of the First Order cannot function without a Supreme Leader. The chaos and confusion of my leaving should give your army opportune time to strike. Don’t let Hux get away.” He said as he pressed his forehead to hers, eyes closed and noses brushing. 

“We won’t Ben. Find me when you’re ready. I’ll be waiting for you.” Rey had promised with a kiss pressed lightly to his cheek before the connection closed itself on them once more.

 

 

 

The dressmaker was more than gracious to dress Rey of Jakku, a hero of the Resistance and one of the  last Jedi. Rey had never worn an actual dress before, between her life as a scavenger and then with the Resistance and now with her traipsing across the universe searching out Force sensitives and learning what she can about who she is, an occasion to play dress up had yet to come up. 

Mira of Erep has owned this dress shop for decades, and has dressed many a beautiful woman for many events. She tells them all this as she spends nearly an hour showing Rey all types of material; silks and organzas and satins and laces, chiffons so soft they practically float as Rey run her saber calloused hands across them.   
  
“Whatever you want my dear. Consider it a gift to the last Jedi.” The woman says as Rey and Chewie compare materials and colors.

“I’m not a Jedi, nor am I the last of my kind.” It slips out of Rey’s mouth before she even has a chance to think, biting her lip as she apologetically dips her head to Mira. “I only mean that I do not follow the traditional Jedi path, I never had the proper training to adhere to such rules. I walk a path somewhere in the middle, and I’m not alone.”

The dressmaker smiles fondly and nods in agreement. 

“Then take it as a gift to one of the heroes of the Resistance. Please my dear. I refuse to accept any credits for this gown. Now, let’s go to my back room and get all your measurements, if you’ve picked a fabric?”

Rey nods and smiles as she picks up the scrap of fabric that she had decided on, Chewie roars his agreement as she follows Mira back towards the back of the shop. Anticipation swirls in her stomach as her eyes catch many different designs hanging up around the small shop while she follows the woman in front of her, she finds herself being entranced by gemstone and crystal covered bodices, backless gowns and ones with plunging necklines that would most certainly expose her navel. 

For a brief, almost fleeting moment, she wonders what Ben would have to say about all of this, if he were here with her right now. Would he scoff at the frivolity of all of this, she wonders before she remembers the first time they encountered each other in the woods on Takodana. Ben was just a monster in a mask back then, a demon cloaked in black who chased her while her heart filled with fear and wonder at this man who was doing everything necessary to conceal his true identity from the outside world. 

A chill runs down her back when she feels him there, the bond a little more open than normal, but not enough to actually see him as she longs to do. 

_ “I’m sorry.”  _ Ben tells her, and it echos in her mind, her heart swells at the sound of his voice. 

_ “I know.”  _ She thinks back before the connection closes again, her words laced with all the affection she can muster under the circumstances.

“Now Rey, how do you feel about me glitzing this dress up a little bit? You’re no Jedi, you told me yourself, and don’t think I didn’t notice you eyeing my gowns out there. Besides, how many times will you get the chance to wear something this exquisite doing what you do?”

 

 

 

Ben found himself on some remote Outer Rim planet, near enough to Wild Space that he knew his location would never be found by anyone who could be searching for him. Anyone except for Rey, he knows she would look for him on every single kriffing planet out here if she was determined enough, but he trusted that she would keep her word and win her war while he took the time he needed to really and truly change. 

Days spent in solitude slowly turned into months. Nothing but him, the Force and the occasional stray creature that crossed his path. 

He built himself a home of sorts, a crude hut with four walls and a roof and he doesn’t use one bit of his Force abilities to help him; just his own two hands, a variety of tools he stole from the First Order hanger when he escaped and a determined force of will that he inherited from Han Solo.    
  


The first time Luke visited him, he almost got back into his ship and gave up on his self exile. Ghosts of his past would forever haunt him, but he knew he would only be able to heal fully when he confronted his demons, and the only way he could ever truly have the future he dreamed of with Rey was when those demons were fully buried. 

“Uncle.” He acknowledged even though he refused to meet the Force ghost eyes. 

“You left. For her.” Luke said simply from where he was sitting across the room from Ben. 

“I left for me, and if that leads Rey and I down the same path in the future, I’ll be glad for it.”

“You’re already on the same path Ben. I can feel it in you, you’re clawing your way back towards the Light.”

“Not towards the Light. Towards Rey. She’s the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted Uncle, the only thing not contaminated by someone elses desires for me.” Ben half growled at the vision of a man who wasn’t even really there. 

“I am truly sorry Ben. I wish I could say that we, your parents and I, knew what we were getting into when they found out they were expecting a child, but we were still living in a time that was so uncertain and we were still filled with so much hope for a better galaxy. I named you Ben, not as a way to put more pressure on you, but as a way to honor a man who had brought me the best things in my life. Your mother, your father, the Force, none of those things would have been mine with Old Ben.  _ You _ would have never been mine without Old Ben.”

“Feeling sentimental old man?” Ben quipped though his voice had lacked malice. 

“Of course nephew.”

“You do know that darkness you felt in me, that was Snoke. For as long as I can remember, I always had a dark voice deep in my brain, feeding me lies, telling me you were weak and fearful and that I would be able to do great things if only I embraced the Dark side. I fought it for so long, the best I could on my own, and that night in my hut, when I woke up with your saber ignited over my bed, I knew that voice was right. I had to leave, to embrace the darkness that was growing in me, to fulfill my true potential.”

The words just spilled out, Ben laid everything bare that night in his small hut while the fire burned and the ghost of his estranged uncle and once master sat on the dirt floor. 

“I did. I knew about Snoke and I underestimated his abilities to warp everything that was going on in your head. It was always my fault Ben, all of it. I should have gone after him and instead I thought, for one fleeting moment, that I could end it all before it started by striking you down. I was wrong and I never was able to forgive myself for that Ben. I only hope that someday, you’ll find it in yourself to forgive me and to move on.”

Tears flowed freely down Ben’s face as he listened to his uncle’s words. He had nothing else to say, nothing that could convey exactly what he felt after he heard what his uncle had to say, so instead he sat there in silence while Luke lingered for a few minutes more before flashing out of existence and leaving him more alone than he had felt in a long time. 

 

 

 

Three days Rey and Chewie spent exploring Erep, enjoying the local fare and getting to sleep comfortably in beds at an actual Inn instead of in their cramped quarters on the Falcon. 

Rey used her free time to explore the many local shops in the area and picks out a few more trinkets to add to the pile of items stored on their ship for her friends. Nothing is ever big, pins or rings or medallion, scarves, the occasional knife or miniature figurine line a single self in a storage closet on the Falcon for when she inevitably meets up with Finn, Poe and Rose again. 

An even smaller pile sits in her cabin, maybe three or four things that has caught her eye in the past months, for Ben in the hopes that they will someday meet again. Chewie knows that it’s there, but he doesn’t say anything when Rey picks a new item to add to the rest or even mention that they are kept separate from the rest of the items she collects.  

Mira sends a message over the holonet on the fourth morning of their stay, exactly two day cycles before the gala and less than one day cycle from when she and Chewie are expected on Naboo to meet up with the remaining members of the Resistance for an informal dinner being hosted in their honor by the Queen. She requests Rey’s presence for one last fitting and reassures her the dress will be completely done by the evening when she and Chewie plan on leaving. 

The shop itself is quiet when Rey enters, the bells on the door chiming brightly to let the owner know she had a visitor. Rey lingers awkwardly near the front of the store for a few minutes before Mira makes her way up to the front of the store and greets her with a smile and requests her to follow her into the back room again. 

As soon as she sets eyes on the gown in front of her, Rey can’t help the gasp that escapes her lips. The gown in question might be the most beautiful garment she has ever laid her eyes on, and immediately she tell Mira that it is simply too much. 

“Nonsense child. Please, go and put it on so I can make my final alterations.” Mira says as she pushes Rey towards one of the partitioned rooms, her arms full of a dress almost too perfect for words. 

Later that night, Rey takes extra care in hanging the gown off the single hook in her cabin, encased in a wardrobe bag made of silk and with a box that Mira had filled with shoes, jewelry and some simple makeup items for her to use. 

The mental link hums with life as Rey settles into her bunk, Ben presses at the bond from wherever he is with a rare sense of urgency, and for a brief moment Rey is overcome with panic that something is wrong. 

“Ben?” She asks out loud as she eases her control over the bond, lets it flow more freely than it has in months. 

He appears in front of her, sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest and head resting on his crossed arms that are wrapped around himself. His dark hair is falling into his eyes, and when he looks out and up towards her from underneath she cant help but laugh a little at how ridiculous he looks right now. 

Ben just scowls at her. 

“The first time I’ve seen you in months and you’re laughing at me.”

“Don't pout Ben. The image of you sitting on my floor like that clashes terribly with the mental image of the fearsome Kylo Ren.” She teases from her bed, flashes him a genuine smile to let him know she’s only teasing.

“I was never that fearsome to you, maybe briefly in the woods, but you were never truly afraid of me. I know I said it the other day, but I’m sorry. For all of it.”

“I know. We’ve moved past this Ben. I hope at least?”

“Of course we have.” He says with his tone as serious as always. 

Rey crawls out of her bunk to deposit herself next to where he sits on the floor, leans back against the wall beside him and turns her head so she can look upon his face. 

“Why are you here? If something had happened, I would have let you know, just like last time. Everyone is safe, for now at least.” She says softly, reaching across the space in between them to place a hand softly on his bicep. 

“I’m here for information. There is only so much I can pick up on the com and through the holonet.” Ben replies just as softly, inclining his head closer to Rey’s, she swears she feels his breath ghosting across her skin. 

“I’ll tell you anything I know Ben.”

“Word has made it to the Outer Rim that some sort of peace accords have been signed, and that Naboo is hosting a gala for the heroes of the war and new Senate members.” He states plainly, his fingers grazing across Rey’s absentmindedly. 

“Yes, these are all true. The Intergalactic Peace Accords are only a temporary solution, and there is a lot of work ahead of us all, but the time for war is over and the new Chancellor would like to celebrate the end of a regime that caused so much pain to so many people. Naboo offered to host a gala, Chewie and I are on our way there as we speak. It’s a lot, I’m a bit overwhelmed actually, but what’s a dress after winning a galactic civil war?”

“Is that why I kept getting flashes of you looking at dresses the other day?” Ben asks with quirk of his eyebrow, tilts his head in such a way that it comes across as earnest and enduring. 

Rey blushes. 

“Yes. It’s actually hanging up in a bag right in this very room.”

“Do I get to see you in it?” He asks and if she wasn’t already flushed, she is now. 

“Maybe someday Ben. In person. I plan on wearing this gown at every formal occasion until it falls apart.”

“I’ll hold you to that Rey.” He says barely above a whisper as he leans in to press a single kiss to her cheek. 

She relishes the feel of his mouth pressed to her skin, even if she knows it’s not the real thing, and lets out a sigh as he winks out of existence once again. 

 

Someday better come soon.

 

 

One moment she’s there, and the next her existence fades out in a instant. 

His mother is gone, one with the Force, and he never had the chance to see her again, to apologize for everything he did, all the destruction he caused. 

The pain is so acute it’s all he can do to hold himself up and make it into his hut before he collapses on his bed. If his confrontation with Han had torn him apart, the death of his mother ripped him completely from his body with anguish. 

It could have been minutes, or maybe it was hours, but soon enough he felt her there. Rey appeared to him with fresh tears running down her face and she threw herself into his open arms from where he laid on his bed. 

They laid there for hours, wrapped up in each other while they both cried to their heart's content, their tears mingled with each others on Ben’s pillows as they weeped for Leia Organa. 

“What happened?” Ben finally asked some time later, his voice raw. 

“She went peacefully in her sleep Ben. I was the first one to even know, I felt it as you did. I rushed to get help and broke the news to the rest of the Resistance before locking myself in my cabin and coming to you.”

“I should have been there Rey.” Ben mumbled into her shoulder, fresh tears leaked down his face. 

“You had no way of knowing. None of us did.” She reminded him as she carded her fingers through his hair. 

“Did you tell her? About this, about our bond, that I left?”

“I did, it was the right thing to do. She had so hoped to see you again Ben, despite everything, she loved you something fierce.  She may have had her moments of doubt, but she always believed in your ability to return to the light.” Rey told him as she continued to soothe him. 

It was the longest the bond had opened at one time, nearly a complete day cycle Rey stayed nestled in Ben’s cramped bed with him. Tears made way to stories about Ben’s childhood, funny things he remembered from the years he spent clutching onto his mothers skirts while she worked endlessly as a senator, stories about adventures on the Falcon with his father and Chewie, the first time he visited his uncle Luke at his Jedi temple as a child, long before he was sent their as an apprentice.

For years those memories were clouded with a tinge of darkness, Snoke’s touch destroyed all the happiness Ben experienced as a child and twisted it into something it never really was. Years of his life he would never get back, all the time he could have had with his family, happy and safe, and none of it had been his because of Snoke. If he could kill him again, he would do it happily, not just to save Rey, but for his own sake. 

At some point they fell asleep, Rey nestled into his chest as his arms wrapped around her and kept her close. He kissed her forehead as he closed his eyes and when he woke she was gone. 

 

 

The dinner hosted by Queen Ellé Kim the previous night been a private and intimate affair, an occasion for the Resistance heroes to all gather together for the first time since the last battle against the First Order had been won in the far reaches of space months prior. It was a somber affair, the presence of General Leia hanging over every single member of the army who served under her. 

Rey had been most excited to reunite with Finn, Poe and Rose, and of course the new Chancellor, Kaydel Ko Connix. Poe had been offered the position when the finale battle was first won, but turned it down because his place was always going to be in a X-Wing fighter or leading an army, he had no head for the politics. After General Leia’s death, Kaydel became indispensable to the Resistance with her knowledge of Intergalactic Diplomacy and politics, and used that knowledge to help them gain valuable alliances as they gained ground on the First Order. 

Kaydel accepted the role after much persuasion, and only after Poe agreed to stand by her side as the General of the Republic military. Rey had enjoyed watching their love blossom softly over these months and couldn’t help but notice the way they orbited around each other in front of all their friends.

Finn and Rose were a different story entirely. After the Battle of Crait when Rose finally recovered from her injuries, they had been attached to each other from the moment they reunited. Rey was more than excited for Finn, her first real friend, and for Rose, who had become the closest thing to a sister to her she had ever had. 

She noticed the small gold bands they both wore on their left hands almost immediately, and Finn had just given her a sheepish smile and told her it was just the two of them in a spur of the moment private ceremony a few weeks back. 

“You could have told me!” She exclaims as she throws her arms about both of her best friends, bringing them in tightly for a hug. 

“You’ve been a little busy Rey, we understand. Besides, Poe and Kay didn’t even find out until afterwards and we see them practically everyday.” Rose explains as she laces her fingers with Finn’s. 

“Threepio was offended enough for all of you, talking about how this always happens and no one ever thinks of inviting the droids to the wedding.” Finn says with a smile, his gaze lingering on the face of his wife. 

“Kay told him she’d be sure to invite him to her wedding someday and that seemed to please him.”

“We all know BB-8 will be there, so what’s a couple more droids yeah?” Rey asks with a laugh as the three of them find their chairs at the table that overflowed with every type of delicacy Naboo had to offer. 

Rey couldn’t remember the last time she had spent so much time laughing, she felt incredibly at ease for the first time in years. 

Tonight was the actual gala, and Naboo was currently being ascended on by ships from all over the galaxy. Rey finds herself slightly overwhelmed when she manages to pull the gown out of her silk bag in the room at the palace she’d been gifted to stay in, she doesn’t know the first thing about getting ready for a gala or fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She’s about thirty seconds away from saying forget it and just wearing her everyday clothes, when there’s a sudden knock at her door. 

“Hello Chancellor!” Rey says brightly at the sight of Kaydel at her door, her own wardrobe bag in hand and being followed by two more woman. 

“Rey, I hope you don’t mind my imposing on you, but I’ve found getting ready for these things is more exciting when you have someone to do it with. Also, someone may have let it slip that you were really overwhelmed by all of this.” The blonde says as she makes her way into the room, her long hair down from her customary buns and her dress casual for someone of her importance. 

“I’ll be sure thank Chewie after this.” Rey lets out a sigh of relief as she sinks into a chair and the two woman that followed Kaydel start unpacking their bags filled with makeup and hair products. 

“Am I late for the party?” Rose asks as she peaks her head into the room.

Rey lets out a small squeal at the sight of her other dear friend entering her room and can’t hold back the few tears that slip down her cheeks. It took years to find where she belongs, to make a family for herself, and she is so grateful for all the people that have come into her life since Jakku, but she still can’t help the feeling that something is missing, that  _ someone _ should be here with her. 

“Rey, honey. No tears! Today is a happy day, you’re going to look amazing in your dress and we’re going to dance the night away.” Rose tells her as she wraps her in a hug, pulls the taller girl tight to her and rubs circles on her back. 

“I just wish he were here too.” She sobs into Rose’s shoulder, grief pouring out of her as the tears continue. 

Ben Solo had been a touchy subject at first, when she explained her force bond to her friends after he defected and put himself in exile. Finn and Poe were very against the idea of her being connected to Kylo Ren in anyway at the start, but Leia talked some sense back into them and convinced them to hear Rey out, to let her explain everything she had learned about her son over the bond. Slowly her friends came to accept that Ben Solo and Kylo Ren were different men, and that Rey’s connection to Ben was what was going to help them win the war, and even swore to welcome him into their lives after the last battle was won and Ben was ready to come back.

“Us too Rey, for your sake.” Rose tells her as she wipes the few remaining tears from Rey’s cheeks. 

“But for now, we should probably get ready.” Kaydel calls from where she’s sitting while one of the woman works on her hair, typing away on her datapad. 

 

 

 

Ben first reached out to the Resistance after his mother died, wanting to be of as much help against the First Order in the last weeks of the war as he could be, it was the only way he felt like he could make it up to his mother. 

To say he was more than surprised when a small ship showed up on his deserted planet was an understatement and the petite blonde who stepped out of ship was even more of a surprise. 

She introduced herself as Kaydel Ko Connix, a military officer for the Resistance and newly appointed political advisor to General Poe Dameron. There was nothing particularly special about this girl, a good several years younger than himself and no noticeable connection to the Force, just a blaster set to stun and a fierce determination etched into her face. 

“How did you find me? That com I sent was coded and made no mention of my potential location.” He asked with less malice than he intended. 

“When the Resistance gets a com from a man claiming to be the former dark side user and Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, we do our due diligence in finding exactly where the message came from. We didn’t know your exact location, but we had the general idea, so several of us have spent the last few days searching for you.” Kaydel told him as she followed him into his crude home and took a seat at the small table he had by the fireplace. 

“Is Rey out there?”

“No. Your terms for helping us required that she be kept in the dark about this, and we will fully honor that agreement.” She had said softly, a small smile graced her features as if she knew something Ben didn’t. Honestly, she probably did. 

“Good. I had originally told her I was not going to be joining the Resistance, that I wanted to be done with all of this, but after the death of my mother I realized I would never be done with all of this. I’m still not joining the fight, not in a physical way, I’m not ready to get back out there yet. But I will tell you everything I know about First Order operations and war strategy, and be here to answer questions and give suggestions when asked. I only ask to be left in peace when this is all over.” Ben laid his terms out in black and white, despite spending the last few months of learning that nothing was black and white in the galaxy. 

Kaydel gave him a once over, as if she was contemplating his words before reaching into her satchel and pulling out a datapad. The holo that popped up from the screen was written in a achingly familiar script and it took Ben’s breath away as tears formed in his eyes. 

“Before General Leia died, she drew these papers up herself Ben. All your mother ever wanted was for you to come home to her, to come back to the Light. I’m here to offer you amnesty in exchange for turning traitor on the First Order and helping us end this war once and for all. You’d be free to live your remaining days out as you please, with anyone you please, under the watchful eye of the new Republic that will form after the war. You will be allowed to keep your weapon, though might I suggest building something a bit more stable, and as long as you make no attempts at over throwing our government, we’ll leave you alone for the most part.” The blonde said in a no nonsense tone. This was not a negotiation, Kaydel expected Ben to accept her terms with no question, and just as he was about to sign the contract he paused, deep in thought. 

“When you say anyone I please, you mean the Republic would accept a relationship between myself and their last remaining Jedi, if that were to happen?” He asked softly, almost embarrassed to be talking about Rey and himself in such a manner with a complete stranger. 

Kaydel appraised him with a single glance, one fine eyebrow arching upwards while her lips formed a half smile. 

“Well Mr. Solo, the last I checked Rey is most certainly not a Jedi and no one owns her. So I suppose that would all be up to you.”

 

 

 

The grand ballroom was crowded with newly elected senators and honored members of the Resistance when Rey finally made her way down the staircase, and she wobbles only slightly in the shoes Mira gave her as she takes her last few steps onto the ballroom floor. Her left hand is full of grey blue chiffon as she attempts to walk over towards the table where she would be seated with her friends when a familiar warm hand wraps around her elbow, and she turns to smile at Finn. 

“Where is your wife? Shouldn't you be escorting her?” Rey asks with a laugh as Finn links elbows with her and uses his other hand to guide her by the small of her back. 

“Uh, yeah, uh Rose and Kaydel had to attend to something quickly, and I offered to hang out with you while they did it. Am I not dashing enough to be on your arm tonight?” Her first friend asks with a flourish of his hand that is linked with her elbow, shows off his military uniform with a sense of pride. 

“You’re always dashing Finn. Is Poe with them, or is he just hiding away somewhere?” Rey inquires while looking around the room, smiling towards familiar faces and greeting the multitude of complete strangers around her. 

“No, I’m right here.” Poe says as he walks up behind them, three flutes of some golden liquid in his hands before he passes them out to his friends. 

He reaches for Rey’s hand and makes her do a little turn to show off her dress, which only causes her to laugh as she tries not to spill the drink in her hands on the frothy confection she’s currently wearing. 

Mira had truly made something stunning, a blue grey floor length chiffon gown with a low v-neckline, slight pleating across the bodice and a full skirt that floated away from her natural waist. From the front of the gown it was quite simple, charming and elegant, but the back of gown was exquisite and dramatic. Layers of white and blue gems fell in ropes across her lower back, connecting both sides of the gown together, until they met in the middle with large brooch made of the same gems that connected to two gem encrusted straps that crossed out over her shoulder blades and to straps top of the gown, holding the whole thing in place. 

The woman that had arrived with Kaydel and Rose had pulled Rey’s hair back into a simple, yet appropriate bun, and given her a light amount of makeup to play up her already stunning features. She felt like a princess, which felt absurd considering her lightsaber was strapped to her thigh and she had a nasty huge scar on her arm from when she and Ben fought Snokes guard over a year prior. 

“You’re beautiful Rey. And I think there’s someone here who would really like to let you know that.” Poe whispers in her ear as he releases her hand at the end of her spin. 

Instantly her eyes look up towards the staircase, and she just knows who she’ll find there.

Standing at the bottom of the staircase stands Ben, Rose and Kaydel flanking his sides with wide grins plastered on their faces. Rey swears her heart stops right then and there, tears springing to her eyes as she turns and looks at Finn, who is just nodding enthusiastically and urging her to go towards the stairs. 

He’s is really there, not just a figment in her head that only she can see. Dressed in all black, not quite the same apparel he would have worn with the First Order, nor Jedi robes, he looks like a dream come to life.

She manages to take all of three steps before Ben has made his way across the room and stands a foot in front of her. 

Rey kicks her heels off and launches herself at him, his strong arms wind tightly around her waist as he lifts her fully off the ground, one arm moving to hold her up under her thighs that she wraps around his waist. 

She knows they are making a scene by the sudden hush that settles over the room, but she hardly cares when Ben is here, solid and real underneath her in some ballroom on Naboo. 

“I came back.” He whispers in her ear as she lets out a soft sob into his shoulder. 

“Yes, you did.” Is all she can say as she pulls back and locks eyes with him for the first time since they broke each other's hearts in Snokes throne room.  

With a look of determination in his eyes, Ben surges forward and captures Rey’s mouth with his own. His lips are so incredibly soft as he presses them towards hers, she takes a full second to respond back, but when she does she practically melts into him and the world slips away. 

Her hands run through his dark hair, tugging his mouth closer to hers as she opens hers to the insistent swipe of his tongue against her lips, a groan low in the back of his throat sends chills through her entire body, flames a heat deep in her that’s only ever been stoked by him. 

It takes a minute to realize where they are, that hundreds of people are staring at them as they kiss so openly on the floor as a party takes place around them. Delicately Ben places her back on the ground, his face as flushed as hers must be, but Rey doesn’t want to let go, just incase he disappears again somewhere and this is her only chance.

“Ahem.” A small voice comes from behind them, and the pair turns to see Kaydel with her arm looped through Poes, a smile reminiscent of General Leia's graces her features.  

“Chancellor.” Ben says with a small bow of his head and Rey is surprised when Kaydel reaches out to shake his hand. 

“Thank you for all your hard work Mr. Solo, we would not be here if it wasn’t for your insights on the First Order. The terms of your amnesty are as we agreed upon. Good luck in your future endeavours.” Kaydel says with a smile and then a wink shot in Rey’s general direction before she walks away with Poe and back towards the rest of their friends. 

“Amnesty?” Rey whispers at him as she turns to look at his face, a deep look of concentration spreads across Ben’s face. 

“Do you have somewhere private we can speak? This is a long story.”

 

 

 

They make their way up towards Rey’s room in complete silence, their fingers wrapped tightly around each others as people stop and stare at the pair with looks of speculation. The mask had offered Ben anonymity from the outside world while with the First Order, and it was unlikely there was anyone left in the galaxy who would be able to connect the stranger with Rey of Jakku and Kylo Ren. 

The silence hovers over them as Rey locks the door behind her, Ben awkwardly avoiding sitting on her bed if at all possible until Rey drags him over to it. 

“We’ve shared a bed before Ben.” She tells him as she slides her shoes back off her feet and gathers her dress up into a pile on the bed. 

“That was different. You weren’t really there.”

“Sit on the bed Ben.”

With a deep sigh he kicks his own shoes off and climbs into the middle of the bed with her, settles back against the pillows that already smell like her while he ponders what he needs to say next. 

As if she can read his mind, which he supposes she can since he’s making no effort to close their bond, she sighs and asks him to start at the beginning. 

And so he tells her everything that happened after Leia died, how he contacted the Resistance, how Kaydel found him in the Outer Rim and offered him the world for him to turn traitor. He told her about the coms he sent, all the information he was able to give to help in the destruction of the First Order, how his only request was that she was kept out of it. 

“Is this why you kept me out Ben? Why you closed yourself off from me and the bond after your mother died?”

“Partially. I needed to do this for myself Rey.” Ben tells her as he takes her hand in his, pressing his lips to brush against her fingers. 

“You could have come to me months ago. Were you just trying to make the grand Skywalker entrance by waiting until now?” She teases, though Ben can feel it’s laced with a deep hurt. 

“No. I wasn’t ready to come back. I still had to learn somethings, and I still had growing to do before I was ready to be with you. If we’re honest, you needed the time apart too.”

“When I first saw you, I wasn’t sure if I was going to kiss you or slap you Ben.”

“I probably deserve both.”

“You definitely deserve both. You broke my heart, and I’ve forgiven you, but I didn’t know how I would react when I first saw you in person after all this time.”

“Let me make it up to you.” He whispers into her ear, his large hands framing her face as he drags her across the bed and captures her lips once again. 

This kiss is slow, so much slower than the first one they shared. Ben can feel Rey smiling into his lips as she wraps her small fingers through his dark hair, pulling them into a sitting position as their lips continue to meet in chaste kisses as they get accustomed to the feel of each others mouths. 

“Wait, wait.” Rey whines as she pulls her mouth away from his, his lips connect to a spot on her jaw as she turns her head and starts rifling through the layers of her dress.

“What is it?” He says in a tone way huskier than he intended, his lips tracing a pattern across her jaw and down to her neck. 

“My lightsaber. It’s strapped to my thigh.” She practically moans as he drags his lips across her pulse point. 

Ben stops long enough to help her lift the layers of gown that is wrapped around them, revealing smooth tanned skin in its wake. Strapped to her thigh, exactly where she said it would be, is a saber a bit longer than traditional weapons, and that's when he realizes it’s double sided and she would fight with it like she did with her staff from Jakku. His fingers graze the weapon with a sort of reverence only someone who understands the power of such a weapon could poses, and when his fingers skim across her skin it breaks out into gooseflesh as he releases the clasp and the saber rolls neatly into his hand. 

“I’ll let you try it out later. We’re a little busy for that right now.” She says as she picks the saber up out of his hand and places it on the nightstand. 

The look of pure adoration that radiates off of Rey’s face is almost too much as Ben presses a kiss to her mouth again, her lips opening right up and their tongues melding together with such an intense heat that he growls low and deep as he wraps his hands around her thighs and flips them in the bed so Rey in underneath him. 

“This dress is beautiful on you Rey, but it would better on the floor.” He pants into her shoulder as he leaves a trail of hot kisses down her neck, his hands pushing eagerly at her straps.

“I only got this dress so you could take it off. Someday. I knew that someday you’d have this chance Ben.” Rey tells him as she surges upwards, her hands fumbling for the zip on the side before his help her find it and pull it down her body. 

Delicately he helps her pull herself free, freeing her of layers of fabric to get to see the expanse of tan, freckled skin he’s been longing for longer than he cares to admit. Her skin flushes as she is finally laid bare to him, her breasts small but round with dusty nipples that harden under his gaze, and a scrap of lace fabric conceals her most private places from him. 

She is gorgeous and never in a million more lifetimes will he ever be worthy of her. 

Rey slowly reaches across to where Ben sits stock still, pressing her lips to his jaw as she starts to peel away his own layers from his body. It only takes him a moment to jump into action, unbuttoning his own shirt while her shaky hands attempt to undo his belt. Once they get him down to his own under things, Rey pulls back with a small, almost shy smile. 

“I’ve never done this before.” She admits, her eyes almost panicked as she takes a cursory glance to the erection in his pants. 

“Me neither. We’ll learn together.” He admits in return, wrapping his hand around the back of her head and pulling her into a crushing kiss. 

His hands explore her warm skin as they settle back into the pillows, his weight settling easily on top of hers as his mouth moves from mouth to neck, savoring the salty sweet taste of Rey’s skin as he makes his way to one breast, his large hand cupping the other one as he rolls her nipple between his thumb and finger, in complete awe at the way in makes her arch her back into him.

Ben wraps his lips around the other nipple and gives it a small nibble before soothing it with his tongue and Rey makes a sound so sinful that Ben almost comes right then without her even touching him. 

His fingers inch their way down her skin, exploring every inch of her body as his mouth is attached to her breasts and her nails drag through his scalp. Ben wraps a large hand around one of Rey’s thighs and pulls her legs apart so he can settle more firmly between them, the hand that's there playing with the lace that covers her heat, never quite touching her where he most wants to, but grazing across mound as she attempts to grind herself up into his touch. 

“Needy thing.” He smirks into her skin as he plasters kisses across her hip bones and loops his fingers into the band of her underthings and slowly drags them down her thighs. 

He marvels at the sight of her bare and wanting underneath him, if her damp curls were any indication of her desire for him. The scavenger from Jakku that made the fearsome Kylo Ren weak in the knees, what a sight they were. 

Never taking his eyes off of hers, he leans down a licks a path up her center, causing her to cry out and grab a handful of hair at the same time. Ben chuckles against her skin as she bucks her hips up at him, his mouth leaving her a quivering ruin as his tongue works hard against the bundle of nerves he finds there. 

He had dreamed of this during all those long months in exile, of tasting Rey this way, making her come undone with only his mouth. All the fantasies could never compare to the real thing though, as he sweeps another pass up her center and Rey is panting hard above him, reaching for the bliss that he’s promised, etched into her skin with his tongue and lips. 

She comes with a cry, her thighs clamp hard against Ben’s face, locks him in place as he brings her down with gentle licks and kisses, her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath.

 

 

“Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” She asks a few minutes later after she’s caught her breath. 

Ben has rolled himself onto his back next to her, his erection concealed in the briefs he still wears, and when she attempted to touch him just now he gently removed her hand and told her is she touched him he would come right then and that he’d much rather do that while inside her. 

“Never. Not that I haven’t thought about it. At the Jedi Temple, celibacy was something we expected from our future lives, and when I turned.. well.. it wasn’t something that would come up. But I’ve spent the last few months of my life alone with just my imagination to keep my company. I’ve spent a lot of time imagining this Rey.”

“Better or worse than you imagination?” She practically purrs, eyebrow arched. 

“Better than anything I could ever dream up. You’re perfect Rey.” He groans as he throws an arm over his eyes.

“Then get over here and show me, Ben Solo.” She says with a wry grin, almost a challenge as he lunges at her. 

Ben nips at her bottom lip as he kisses her, her legs spread immediately to accommodate the width of him as he settles against her, his erection hard against her lower belly as Ben moves from her mouth to her jaw. Rey kisses any part of skin her lips can reach, traces her lips across every old scar that litters his body, runs her nails down his back as he cants his hips upwards and grinds himself against her hip bone. 

“I want you Ben.” She moans into his ear after his third thrust has her back arching up into him. 

It takes him a few seconds, his hands shake as he pulls down the briefs he’s still wearing and Rey gasps slightly when he gets a good look at him. She knew he was big, every other part of him is anyway, and while she had no experience with sex, she’d spent the last year or so of her life in and out of military barracks and had seen her fair share of naked men. 

Ben put them all to shame. 

“This might hurt.” He whispers into her ear as he lines the head of himself up with her entrance. 

In one swift motion she goes from empty to full, and while it does sting a little, mostly what she feels an undeniable sense of love for the man that is over her right now. 

Ben is holding his breath, his face contorted in concentration as he allows Rey a moment to adjust to the size of him. Rey reaches up and lays a single hand on his face and it breaks him out of the trance, he looks down at her with so much love Rey might literally burst from it. 

“Move Ben.” She tells him with an experimental thrust of her hips. 

And it’s like a switch flips in him, Ben Solo nods eagerly down at her as he pulls himself out of her, almost completely, before pushing himself back in. It feels better than the first one, and the next one feels even better than this one, and so it goes until they are are a nice, steady tempo and the heat from earlier is building back up in Rey.  

“I need more Ben.” She whines as he slams himself into her, the wet sound of their skin the second most obscene sound in the room, the first being the curse words that continually spew out of Ben’s lips.  

“Okay sweetheart.” He says as he bends over to capture her lips in his, one hand snaking down to where their bodies meet and he starts to rub at that same place that brought her over her edge earlier. 

The feeling of his rough fingers mixed with the sensation of his length inside of her is more than enough to bring her to her peak for second time, and Ben follows her over that edge shortly after, three more stuttering thrusts before he spends himself inside her. If it wasn’t for the Force, he probably would have crushed her underneath himself, but she expertly shifts him off of her while they both catch their breaths.  

They lay next to each other as the sweat dries on their bodies, the room filled with the undeniable smell of sex and Rey takes a good look at the man next to her and can’t help but laugh. 

“What’s so funny?” He groans, annoyed look flicker across his features as he raises himself up onto one arm. 

“I just hope no one heard us is all.” She giggles as Ben wraps an arm around her waist and drags her close. 

“And if they did, I think we gave them a pretty good show.” He tells her as he presses a kiss into her shoulder. 

“I love you. I think I’ve loved you since I first saw you in the woods on Takodana. You captivated me from first sight.” Ben whispers as he runs his rough fingers over the scar on her arm. 

“Ben…” Rey beings before he cuts her off. 

“You don’t have to say it back, not if you don’t feel it. I just want you to know that this is it for me, nothing could compare.”

“Ben. I love you too. I hated you at first. Then the Force brought us together, and we learned about each other, and my feelings changed. All this time we’ve spent apart, it’s only made me long for you.” Rey whispers back as she brings her hand up to rest against his scared cheek. 

“Then where do we go from here?” He asks, dark eyes serious. 

“First, you and Chewie need to have a talk. He’s still very hurt, but he is willing to forgive you.”

“He shot me with his bowcaster. 

“He got you in the ribs. We both know Chewie is a perfect shot and if he wanted you dead he would have done it. You took away his best friend, you need to owe up to it.” Rey tells him sternly and Ben relents. 

“I know. I regret it everyday, it’s something I’m always going to have to live with Rey. But I’ll talk to him.”

“Okay. Second, there’s always space for you on the Falcon. I’ve been meaning to get it to one of the Republic bases so I can do some much needed maintenance, I assume you know how to work on it?” She asks him, only half serious and with a widening grin as Ben rolls his eyes. 

“I knew how to fly that bucket of junk before you were even born. Anything else?” Ben replies with a kiss to the tip of her nose. 

“Yeah, marry me. Maybe not now, but soon. Marry me and give me children and be my family Ben. That’s all I want from you.” Rey says, her face flushes red as Ben looks at her with a shocked expression.

“I think we can make that work.” He says with a grin as he closes the space in between them, rolls them over so Rey is on top of him as he kisses her senseless.

The Force hums around them, senses the perfect balance of Light and Dark as their mouths mold together in perfect harmony. 

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me over on tumblr as bex-xo. My blog is multifandom and multiship, though right now I'm in a serious Reylo/Star Wars spiral, and I love making new friends!


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